18 months ago, the pandemic crushed all that I've worked for, left me feeling lost and with no sense of purpose. It has been one of the most difficult times for anyone in the arts world, and for me, I earned a living travelling so it has felt like an even bigger kick in the guts to be in one place unable to even leave the state. Pivoting, rebuilding, starting a new career or finding one of those "real jobs" just doesn't seem right, to throw it all away and start again. It hurts. A lot. I've been up and down emotionally, seeing many friends in other industries largely unaffected by it all and even thriving and walking around town like a zombie as if there's been some huge prank pulled on us. Did this really happen? I've considered the hard truths, is it all over? Was that just a phase I went through? Are the best years behind me? It was good while it lasted but is the travel life or time on the road as a comedian over? Should I give it up now and settle down, start a family and get a 9-5... Yikes!
Working in the arts is tough, doing it online during a pandemic is almost impossible. The future is uncertain. It has been hard to find any positives. I keep thinking about gratitude. Trying to focus on what I have and not what I don't have.
Today I woke up to the news that the charismatic, inspiring and supremely talented Lynn Ruth Miller passed away. If you didn't know her, it's a shame. She was the oldest touring comedian in the world and toured constantly, she was full of energy and didn't stop. She sang, danced, stripped burlesque and brought a smile to your face and lit up the room. Oh and did I mention she was doing this right up until her death, aged 88? The comedy world lost a wonderful person. It's a very sad day. But what I want to take from this and I hope you do too, is that she didn't start doing it until she was 70! And she was brilliant at it! If you've hit a brick wall in your career or personal life and feel like there's no hope, think of her, you can change things if you really want it.
I've been sad thinking about her today reading a lot of tributes, but grateful to have met her and worked with her, she was everyone's loving grandma on the comedy circuit and a true inspiration for anyone to simply give life a go. No matter what age you are, if you want something, go for it.
I've been grumpy that my career has come to a halt, but today I realised something, I still have 30years before I reach the age that she STARTED her career in comedy. And I've already been doing comedy for 20 years. If life has given us lemons right now, well maybe its time to sit back and make some lemonade.
And when the world gets back on its feet, I'm going to be back out there doing what I love. Or maybe not. Who knows? What I don't want to do is regret not trying.
I'm going to add a little gin to that lemonade tonight and raise a glass in her memory. RIP to a fellow globetrotting vagabond. What a beautiful life you lived. x
-------------------------------------------------------------- "Something wonderful happens to me every morning... I wake up." "When I die I don't wanna say I wish I had. I wanna say I'm glad I did." Lynn Ruth Miller
